Guide to sex with bullsSince my last posting of this article, I have made some experiences I do not want to keep back, including some major security hints.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I do -of course- not take legal or moral responsibility for cracked ribs, poked holes in your belly, torn apart t-shirts or scars from barbed wire fences you had to jump about while running away, not even for deadly incidents.
How to get the first contactOK, I only have experiences with Holstein, Charolais and Galloway bulls, all these are considered 'calm' races. I'd advice you all to take some kind of precaution before entering a shed or pasture. The easiest way to get a first impression on the temperament of the animal(s) involved is to get their attention from the outside. Let them come to you and give them your hands to sniff and lick, try scratching their foreheads or their necks (watch out if they have horns). If none of them behaves aggressive now, you can take step two: enter the shed/pasture! I use to start with step two, BTW.
Now you will be surrounded by curious animals, especially when you cower down (a thing I usually do). Try touching the necks of all animals you are interested in, pick the least shy one, most will try to avoid contact with humans.
Onward to step three: try to touch the bull's flank or back with your hands. If you manage this (may require some training until he allows you to do that) you have won.
MAJOR SECURITY ADDENDUM: in bull herds (as they are kept here), the higher- ranked animals might get somewhat envious/aggressive (slight bumping usu- ally) if you care about a low-ranked one. Try to ignore them or make THEM your sex partners, if they then allow you to touch their interesting parts.
Remember that these animals are INDIVIDUALS, they all are entirely different in character and behavior.
What can one do with a bull now that he has one?OK, there are the following possibilities, note that a bull might also try to mount you, but that this can easily be avoided by some steps back (or just lying on the ground under them?).
- Jerking him off: To do this, you have to rub the tip of the penis and/or the end of the bull's sheath gently, but firmly. If he loses some urine, he is somewhat aroused. If he raises his tail and starts defecating, he is truly aroused (ore bored beyond belief :-)). Sooner or later you will feel the thin, hot, juicy tip of the penis between your fingers at the sheath, touch it. This will lead to a fully erected penis you can easily manipulate, but that will go down again very soon. Note: contrary to stallions, grabbing into the sheath does cause POSITIVE response!
- Sucking him off: Follow the above instructions, but use your mouth on the penis. NO TEETH!!! I tried this only once with a VERY positive reaction of the animal and was surprised by a high-pressure shot that made me spit and cough (tasted great, though), on the other occasions the bull just tried mounting me with a full erection...seems I was too late for him then.
For security: Do NOT sit in front of the 'natural direction' of the penis! A bull's penis reaches out of it's sheath about 30 to 40 centimeters (that's 12 to 16 inches, roughly).
- Sheath fucking: This one's dedicated to Nevyn. As one has to get some clothes off, it is only safe at night or at a private place. Haven't tried it myself, though.
- Anal play: bulls LIKE anal play/anal intercourse, but they WILL defecate, so GET YOUR CLOTHES OFF!!! NOT recommended by me.
AGAIN: Never let the bull mount you! Never let him fuck you with you in the 'pushing' direction of the penis!
One also can play along with the bull's balls (I like them) or even ride some of them (I didn't manage to get one going anywhere, though). They also like the taste and smell of your urine (piss anywhere in front of their nose, do NOT hit the eyes!). Of course one can also have a full-night romance just scratching and rubbing them anywhere they like it...
What NOT to do!Though I only have faced aggressive behaviour in ONE bull so far (and met DOZENS of them of which I picked the least shy ones), I have to warn you.
- NEVER run away from a bull (or cow), they will follow you and eventually run over you, aggressive or not. Take a tactical retreat!
- NEVER enter a pasture when a bull exposes territorial/defensive behaviour like scratching in the dust with the front hooves, snorting, shaking the head wildly or similar.
- NEVER try to use a trick to grab the bull's penis, like when he is going to mount a cow. They'll run away (and you WILL be kicked accidentally).
- NEVER, NEVER, NEVER start a fake attack (or a real one) on any animal!!! They'll come back for you to fight it out!